my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just blew my weed a kiss
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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