i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
