did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
