Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
