went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i drank out of a bidet.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
