Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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