So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
