I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I smell like Dick and happiness
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