piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize