I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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