i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it glows. i had to have it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
