apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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