i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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