well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Please, let me fuck your mom
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
