I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
