Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize