i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
