Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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