Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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