She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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