Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just want to make out with him forever
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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