we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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