So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
