my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
