Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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