i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
