i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
