their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
