Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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