i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
