i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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