I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
