I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
