at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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