Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
