Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
