BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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