Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish I only lived at night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
