2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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