he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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