Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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