They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
