Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
