Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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