Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
