Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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