Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
