Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
