her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
