I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
True college students do jello shots in the library
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
