I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
