So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
