this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
