we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
