somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Even my vagina gasped.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
