I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
