You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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