seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize