you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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