fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize