he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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