had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
