I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
