I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
